May 17, 2010

i'm jealous of my tooth.

Mon friends, I can proudly write that I didn't soil myself on Friday. On Thursday night, I was filled with anticipation, wondering what it'd feel like to be drugged. The instruction package advised that the effects would hit me within moments of taking the valium so I nervously popped 10mg in after tucking myself into bed, while my seastar played "soothing" (crickets) soundclips from Youtube and refilled the humidifier. I fell asleep disappointed. At five, I got up to take 5mg and felt nothing. At ten, I took some other type of magical pills and groggily stumbled to my appointment! In the waiting room, I tried to describe to the dogre how my feet and bum were weighed by heavy sandbags and was quickly preoccupied with the realization that my husband had 2 sets of eyes. After that, my memory started to get hazy. 

I recall waving goodbye and flashes of the following: faces peering, requests to open my mouth, commands to open it wider, sipping on Gatorade and lifting my tongue to swallow more (crushed) pills. I also remember a snug blue blanket they mummified me in, and naughtily sneaking out an appendage from time to time, only to be gently reprimanded. It took six hours and even though I was heavily drugged, the procedure still felt long. I can't even remember the dogre collecting me, or the wheelchair ride home. I do know I puked clear green Gatorade in the elevator among strangers and then that's it. I blacked out until Saturday morning, waking in a fit of panic because I thought I was late for my appointment! I was in total disbelief when the dogre told me it was done.

So, that was a bizarre thirty-six hours of my life. Oh, I also randomly cried one tear, asked the dogre to slap my face, chatted about a Korean celebrity, passed out (seriously, like, head rolling backwards) mid-meals, accused him of being stingy with the food portions, commanded that the laptop be brought to me so that I could move the mouse cursor a half millimeter there, a quarter millimeter here, and spoke a whole new language of gibberish. I'm very happy that everything was documented on video because the clips really got me giggling. Also? My heart got all gooey warm, seeing how the dogre had taken such great care of me. He even missed a shift (the first ever! he's a very good employee). I know no one's keeping score but I'm fairly certain that my husband is better than yours! Then again, he did feed me expired KD and hotdog bits. And the pasta was whole wheat (let's gasp in unison).

Looking forward to the follow-up appointment tomorrow, as the tooth needs some serious polishing; the surface is uncomfortably jagged. They also need to readjust my nightguard and fix the bite. I really, really hope the infection didn't spread elsewhere but I have a nagging feeling that my toothache woes aren't over just yet. They never are! So, enough about me, how have you been?

You don't need to talk, you say? Would rather continue to hear my sweet, angelic voice, you say? Well, my cousin—we'll call her Jules since she handcrafts jewelry—and I went out to Vineland and Jordan for some serious antique shopping. I have a ton of photos to share but will show you my one and only purchase for now.
Neat, right? Got it at Vineland Antiques Etc.  Jules bought a few jewelry pieces and a very tasty jar of jalapeno jam preserves. The whole "downtown" strip in Jordan was just so lush and peaceful. We lunched at Zooma Zooma and then visited a few art galleries—Jules took genuine interest in each piece while I pretended to care.
The weekend was mostly spent with the dogre's family, helping his parents prepare for next week's garage sale. Also visited Teaopia at Don Mills and Lawrence with Shoe (clearly, this isn't her actual name! her dad used to call us Gum and Shoe because we were always together. although, I resent the fact that I was the gum...). Had the Dublin Cream (ceylon black tea, whole roasted coffee beans, and jasmine petals), which was very delicious, and took home a tin of Caramelissimo (ceylon black tea with bits of caramel, hazelnut brittle, and biscuit pieces). Oh, and before I forget again (I was still under the influence of the drugs into Sunday afternoon), thank you for the thoughtful butternut squash soup, Finn!
Since this post is (surprisingly) all about me and more specifically, my health ailments, you should know that my toe (recall When Panda Mugs Attack) is not healing well. And I still really hate homework (random but true). To stay positive, I've been dreaming of decorating (countdown: 12 days!) and indulging in some wanderlusting. My seastar is abandoning me with her man-dogress for an international teaching post in Korea, while another friend will be flying off to Sussex for her doctorate. Me? I'm just floating about in the Shanghai sky, courtesy of Garance Dore.
I'm also overly optimistic that we'll have the opportunity to visit them within the next couple of years. You know what? The combination of all those pills really took the edge off and resulted in a more pleasant, amicable, and sociable dogress. But don't worry, I'm back to my cranky self.

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